Back in the summer the kids & I were going to go camping with Momma Liz, Poppa Mike & the boys. We decided to stay at the house instead of actually go to a camp site. We pitched a tent in the back yard, grilled food, had a fire, drank a few adult drinks. You know had a good time. While sitting out by the fire I'm telling them about what I saw at Kmart during one of my recent trips there. This is how the conversation went...
Me: So I was at Kmart the other day and I'm walking down the aisle with all the hair doo-hickeys. At the end of the aisle the have a small section full of pregnancy tests, condoms, lube.. You know somewhat sex stuff. And you will never believe what I saw..
Momma Liz: What?!?
Me: They sell VIBRATORS!!!! Like 2 different kinds. One you can take with you on the go, it even comes with a special carrying bag; and one you can leave at home that has several different attachments. Can you believe that? FREAKING VIBRATORS.. AT KMART!!!!!!!
During this entire conversation, Poppa Mike, is quietly sitting watching the fire...
Poppa Mike: Was it part of the Martha Stewart Collection?
Both Momma Liz & I spew our drinks out, and are laughing so hard we both have to run to the bathroom to keep from pissing ourselves!
Just another fun filled camping trip with Momma & Poppa!
Thursday, January 31, 2013
Tuesday, January 29, 2013
Open Letter to my "family"
It's been a year since shit hit the fan with my family. I have stayed quiet and let them tell their side of the story to everyone, and blast me all of Facebook.
Today I break my silence..
Dear Aunts, Uncles, Cousins, and anyone else who thinks they are involved,
It has been almost a year since we moved & all of you disowned me. Today I'm ready to tell you what I think about the whole situation, and give my side of the story to those of you who wouldn't give me a chance to explain things. Now let me be clear, this in no way is an apology, or a reach out to any of you. I have come to terms with the fact that we are no longer family, and I'm ok with that. I don't need you, nor do I want you in my life. I'm simply putting my side out there so people will stop thinking I'm some kind of horrible person who uses and abuses people to get what I want. I have changed names, but most of you will be able to figure out who you are due to the things that you said or did, and that's your guilt you have to live with, not mine.
When we moved to NC we were given a "hand up", not a "hand out", your words not mine. I was totally agreeable to that. I didn't want everything given to me, I simply wanted to A) be around family I hadn't seen in years B) get back on my feet after a horrible disaster that was my life in FL and C) introduce my children to my side of the family. There were stipulations, and a contract was signed by myself, my husband, and the Aunt & Uncle that were helping us the most. Everything that was in the contract my husband and I abided by. We both had jobs in the allotted time that was given, and we paid bills and rent. There where times, yes, that we were late on rent, but since "Nina" was our landlord, and my boss, I would always let her know if we were going to be late. She worked with us, and was somewhat pleasant about it. I know she had been burned before and I didn't want to be one more person to do that to her.
"Nina" always said she would help where she could, but whenever we would get behind she would tell me to get another job. Well that was never an option because, as you all know, I had three children at home. I would have had to get a sitter and all the extra money that was made would have gone to that sitter. She said she would watch the kids whenever she could, but she was always so busy. "Collette" was always too busy working to support her and her boyfriend, so she was never able to watch them either. The only person who ever watched my children for me was "Hunter", and she was dropped from the family too when "Ralph" decided he wanted to be with a drug addict instead of her.
The entire time we lived there I think we spent maybe 7 days together, and most of that was holidays. I invited everyone to everything we did, but no one ever came. My children's birthday's and my own were spent with friends we made while there. Which was fine with me, but one of the reasons we moved there was to get reacquainted. I was never asked if I wanted to go on little shopping dates with "Nina" & "Collette", or go have lunch or just hang out. All things that I was told would happen. I'm not upset about that, but Geez you would tell my kids you where going to come over, or take them somewhere & then you flaked. You can do that to me, I'll get over it, but I'll be damned if you are going to upset my children!
I was told on the regular by "Nina" what a horrible mother I had. She would call her names, like Fag Hag, or a Gold Digging Whore. I know my mother was not the best mother in the world, but she was my mom, and screw all of you who think she failed in that department. She was the best person in the world, and none of you can deny that. She would have given you the shirt right off her back, and if I remember correctly did just that for a few of you. She was always there to help get you out of sticky situations. I may have been young when she died, but I wasn't stupid, and I have learned several things about her over the years, that being one of them. My mom was a strong independent person, and the fact that she chose to raise my sister and I alone is commendable. I hope that I am half the mom she was. I miss her everyday and think about her every minute, do you guys even remember what she looks like without looking at a picture? I'm sure you don't since the moment she was in the ground all you had to say about her were nasty, filthy things. I would NEVER speak ill of anyone who had passed, even if they weren't the best person. You, "Nina" should be ashamed of yourself, she was your sister for Christ's sake!! I bet "Nina" never told any of you that she said those things did she? Of course I'm sure she will deny it now anyway, but I know, as do several other people, because when she said them to me I got very upset, and those people where there for me.
We had gotten behind again, and "Nina" and I talked about things I told her I could have all the money owed to her by February 6th. She agreed to that and Ross & I saved every paycheck we got. There were nights he & I didn't eat because we didn't have the money for enough food for all of us. We made sure the kids had breakfast, lunch & dinner. Then she came to me and asked me to sign my van over to her, you know just in case. Really? Did she not have the faith in us that we could get caught up? WOW thank you for that, it really means a bunch! So I signed it over, that way when we paid like I said we would, she could eat her words! Not that she would, because in her eyes, she is never wrong!
Then The Husband and I found out about his mother being sick, and we both started thinking about what we were going to do. We wanted our children to be with their grandmother for however long she may have, but we also didn't want to flake out on the responsibilities we had there. I went to "Nina" and told her what we had just found out, and you know what she said to me? " We are all going to die, whats the big deal?" Seriously, who says that? A cold heartless bitch, that's who! She said if she got sick she wouldn't want her kids around to see her like that. ("Collette", "Scott" be aware that if she gets sick, she doesn't want you to stop living your life or come around) My mother in law didn't want us to stop living our lives either, but we decided we wanted to spend all the time we could with her. If that meant moving back home, then so be it.
So the Monday after we talked to my mother in law, The Husband put in several applications here in IN. He got a call on Wednesday of that week for an interview that Friday. He was going to go alone, see how it went and then we were going to make a final decision when he got back, but it didn't work out that way. That same night we got a call from The Husband's brother that their mom was in the hospital. He wanted to have a family meeting about how we were all going to help out. He asked if we could all come home, so I called "Nina" and told her I was going to be out for Thursday & Friday and why I would be out. She couldn't understand why we all needed to go. Well you see, my mother in law can't get sick, if she does it will turn into something major every time. She can't take medicine because her body can't break it down, therefore, getting sick could be major bad news!
We drove back to IN, and on the way I received a call from my friend who was taking care of our dogs. She said "Nina" told her she would do it. I said fine, as long as they are being taken care of. The Husband got the job, and we made our final decision to move back. We talked it over with my sister, and the in laws, and thought it best to leave the kids and just come back there, pack our stuff & leave. So that's what we did!
On the way back, we got several calls and text messages from people asking what was going on, that "Nina" & " Collette" were talking shit. So I called "Nina" to talk about what she heard & what she was telling people. She told me she didn't have time for lies, blah blah blah, and then hung up on me. OK.. Not sure what lies she thinks I told, but whatever. Yes, I failed to mention The Husband had a job interview, but I wasn't going to say anything until we knew whether or not he had the job. My purpose in going was to see my mother in law, which is exactly what I did.
We got to the house and we started packing our stuff. When we woke up we had a rental truck ready for us, and we went to pick it up. Apparently, "Nina" was at our house first thing in the morning and when we weren't there she called me & started threatening to call the police if I didn't return "her" van. It was only "her" van because she made me sign it over. I told her we would drop it off at the office with the keys in it. Which is exactly what we did. Of course then "Collette" starts blowing my cell phone up with text messages about how horrible I am, and that her mother paid all our bills blah blah blah. That because her mother was paying our bills, she couldn't get new glasses or contacts. Well I got news for you honey, your mom didn't pay any of our bills. If she had then our shit wouldn't have been on the disconnect lists or late, and The Husband & I wouldn't have had to skip meals just so the kids could eat. Besides, you are a grown ass woman, pay for your own shit. Or maybe make your lazy ass boyfriend get a job, instead of sitting on his ass all day smoking weed! Of course "Collette" told me my mother would be so disappointed in me for acting like that. Ummmm EXCUSE ME???? No she wouldn't, my mom would have been proud that I stood up for her, even in death, and that I didn't let anyone push me around! How the hell would she know if my mom would be disappointed in me anyway, she was 7 when she died.
When we get the truck back to the house we notice, all my belongs from the office had been dropped off, and that "Nina" had taken things that she had given us. Ok what are we in elementary school, and now we are Indian Givers? Whatever, that's neither here nor there, but it makes me wonder, did she go through my house & my things? What else did she take?
We get all of our stuff packed, or at least what we could get in the truck. This meant lots of things where left behind, including several bags of trash. Since she took the only other mode of transportation, I left those things for her to deal with. The trash, the furniture, and anything else. I did clean up as I went, so the house wasn't dirty. I'm sure she said otherwise, but again, no one took time to listen to me, so whatever. I did leave a note telling her we appreciated everything she did for us, and that I hated it had to go down like this. It also let her know I didn't take anything that was hers, such as movies she had loaned us. We locked the door and drove off into the night.
We get back to IN and my sister comes to the house to tell me that "Collette" had blasted the note all over Facebook, and has tagged our entire family in it. ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?!?!?!?!? How old are you "Collette", cause you act like you are still in high school. Get your shit together and grow up! My sister tells me that she, my niece, and my brother in law all asked to be untagged that they didn't want any part in it. Of course there are cousins making comments about what a bitch I am, and uncles saying I told you so. Told them so what? You had nothing to do with me the moment my mom died, so anything you could have "told" them would have been hearsay because I haven't talked to you in almost 20 years. And when I say talk, I mean carry on a conversation, not just a few words here and there in passing! People that were supposed to be my friends, deleted me & said they would pray for me. I don't need prayers, I don't need God, I don't need anything from anyone. I have my kids, my loving husband, my in laws, my sister, brother in law, niece and a shit ton of friends. Random strangers are saying horrible things about me, all because she put a note that I wrote on there and blew it all out of context, just to make me look bad. I check my email, and you will never believe it, they have hacked my personal account, and deleted everything. Emails between my attorney, emails from friends, contacts, the whole thing. Who would do that?
Like I said it's been a year since all this happened. We are way better off now. The Husband is a Certified Cable Technician and makes damn good money. Enough money that I don't have to work if I don't want to! We are in the house buying process, and are putting an offer in on a house tomorrow. My children are so much happier to have their "real" family around. I was able to see my niece, get married, and was one of the first people she called when she found out she was pregnant. So yeah, I am doing great, and we are all happy as can be. We did it all by ourselves, with no help from any of you, or any one else for that matter. If anything you guys taught us to never, ever rely on anyone, especially family, for anything. Family will screw you over just as quick as a friend would. So thanks for helping us realize that!
Sincerely
Scandell
Today I break my silence..
Dear Aunts, Uncles, Cousins, and anyone else who thinks they are involved,
It has been almost a year since we moved & all of you disowned me. Today I'm ready to tell you what I think about the whole situation, and give my side of the story to those of you who wouldn't give me a chance to explain things. Now let me be clear, this in no way is an apology, or a reach out to any of you. I have come to terms with the fact that we are no longer family, and I'm ok with that. I don't need you, nor do I want you in my life. I'm simply putting my side out there so people will stop thinking I'm some kind of horrible person who uses and abuses people to get what I want. I have changed names, but most of you will be able to figure out who you are due to the things that you said or did, and that's your guilt you have to live with, not mine.
When we moved to NC we were given a "hand up", not a "hand out", your words not mine. I was totally agreeable to that. I didn't want everything given to me, I simply wanted to A) be around family I hadn't seen in years B) get back on my feet after a horrible disaster that was my life in FL and C) introduce my children to my side of the family. There were stipulations, and a contract was signed by myself, my husband, and the Aunt & Uncle that were helping us the most. Everything that was in the contract my husband and I abided by. We both had jobs in the allotted time that was given, and we paid bills and rent. There where times, yes, that we were late on rent, but since "Nina" was our landlord, and my boss, I would always let her know if we were going to be late. She worked with us, and was somewhat pleasant about it. I know she had been burned before and I didn't want to be one more person to do that to her.
"Nina" always said she would help where she could, but whenever we would get behind she would tell me to get another job. Well that was never an option because, as you all know, I had three children at home. I would have had to get a sitter and all the extra money that was made would have gone to that sitter. She said she would watch the kids whenever she could, but she was always so busy. "Collette" was always too busy working to support her and her boyfriend, so she was never able to watch them either. The only person who ever watched my children for me was "Hunter", and she was dropped from the family too when "Ralph" decided he wanted to be with a drug addict instead of her.
The entire time we lived there I think we spent maybe 7 days together, and most of that was holidays. I invited everyone to everything we did, but no one ever came. My children's birthday's and my own were spent with friends we made while there. Which was fine with me, but one of the reasons we moved there was to get reacquainted. I was never asked if I wanted to go on little shopping dates with "Nina" & "Collette", or go have lunch or just hang out. All things that I was told would happen. I'm not upset about that, but Geez you would tell my kids you where going to come over, or take them somewhere & then you flaked. You can do that to me, I'll get over it, but I'll be damned if you are going to upset my children!
I was told on the regular by "Nina" what a horrible mother I had. She would call her names, like Fag Hag, or a Gold Digging Whore. I know my mother was not the best mother in the world, but she was my mom, and screw all of you who think she failed in that department. She was the best person in the world, and none of you can deny that. She would have given you the shirt right off her back, and if I remember correctly did just that for a few of you. She was always there to help get you out of sticky situations. I may have been young when she died, but I wasn't stupid, and I have learned several things about her over the years, that being one of them. My mom was a strong independent person, and the fact that she chose to raise my sister and I alone is commendable. I hope that I am half the mom she was. I miss her everyday and think about her every minute, do you guys even remember what she looks like without looking at a picture? I'm sure you don't since the moment she was in the ground all you had to say about her were nasty, filthy things. I would NEVER speak ill of anyone who had passed, even if they weren't the best person. You, "Nina" should be ashamed of yourself, she was your sister for Christ's sake!! I bet "Nina" never told any of you that she said those things did she? Of course I'm sure she will deny it now anyway, but I know, as do several other people, because when she said them to me I got very upset, and those people where there for me.
We had gotten behind again, and "Nina" and I talked about things I told her I could have all the money owed to her by February 6th. She agreed to that and Ross & I saved every paycheck we got. There were nights he & I didn't eat because we didn't have the money for enough food for all of us. We made sure the kids had breakfast, lunch & dinner. Then she came to me and asked me to sign my van over to her, you know just in case. Really? Did she not have the faith in us that we could get caught up? WOW thank you for that, it really means a bunch! So I signed it over, that way when we paid like I said we would, she could eat her words! Not that she would, because in her eyes, she is never wrong!
Then The Husband and I found out about his mother being sick, and we both started thinking about what we were going to do. We wanted our children to be with their grandmother for however long she may have, but we also didn't want to flake out on the responsibilities we had there. I went to "Nina" and told her what we had just found out, and you know what she said to me? " We are all going to die, whats the big deal?" Seriously, who says that? A cold heartless bitch, that's who! She said if she got sick she wouldn't want her kids around to see her like that. ("Collette", "Scott" be aware that if she gets sick, she doesn't want you to stop living your life or come around) My mother in law didn't want us to stop living our lives either, but we decided we wanted to spend all the time we could with her. If that meant moving back home, then so be it.
So the Monday after we talked to my mother in law, The Husband put in several applications here in IN. He got a call on Wednesday of that week for an interview that Friday. He was going to go alone, see how it went and then we were going to make a final decision when he got back, but it didn't work out that way. That same night we got a call from The Husband's brother that their mom was in the hospital. He wanted to have a family meeting about how we were all going to help out. He asked if we could all come home, so I called "Nina" and told her I was going to be out for Thursday & Friday and why I would be out. She couldn't understand why we all needed to go. Well you see, my mother in law can't get sick, if she does it will turn into something major every time. She can't take medicine because her body can't break it down, therefore, getting sick could be major bad news!
We drove back to IN, and on the way I received a call from my friend who was taking care of our dogs. She said "Nina" told her she would do it. I said fine, as long as they are being taken care of. The Husband got the job, and we made our final decision to move back. We talked it over with my sister, and the in laws, and thought it best to leave the kids and just come back there, pack our stuff & leave. So that's what we did!
On the way back, we got several calls and text messages from people asking what was going on, that "Nina" & " Collette" were talking shit. So I called "Nina" to talk about what she heard & what she was telling people. She told me she didn't have time for lies, blah blah blah, and then hung up on me. OK.. Not sure what lies she thinks I told, but whatever. Yes, I failed to mention The Husband had a job interview, but I wasn't going to say anything until we knew whether or not he had the job. My purpose in going was to see my mother in law, which is exactly what I did.
We got to the house and we started packing our stuff. When we woke up we had a rental truck ready for us, and we went to pick it up. Apparently, "Nina" was at our house first thing in the morning and when we weren't there she called me & started threatening to call the police if I didn't return "her" van. It was only "her" van because she made me sign it over. I told her we would drop it off at the office with the keys in it. Which is exactly what we did. Of course then "Collette" starts blowing my cell phone up with text messages about how horrible I am, and that her mother paid all our bills blah blah blah. That because her mother was paying our bills, she couldn't get new glasses or contacts. Well I got news for you honey, your mom didn't pay any of our bills. If she had then our shit wouldn't have been on the disconnect lists or late, and The Husband & I wouldn't have had to skip meals just so the kids could eat. Besides, you are a grown ass woman, pay for your own shit. Or maybe make your lazy ass boyfriend get a job, instead of sitting on his ass all day smoking weed! Of course "Collette" told me my mother would be so disappointed in me for acting like that. Ummmm EXCUSE ME???? No she wouldn't, my mom would have been proud that I stood up for her, even in death, and that I didn't let anyone push me around! How the hell would she know if my mom would be disappointed in me anyway, she was 7 when she died.
When we get the truck back to the house we notice, all my belongs from the office had been dropped off, and that "Nina" had taken things that she had given us. Ok what are we in elementary school, and now we are Indian Givers? Whatever, that's neither here nor there, but it makes me wonder, did she go through my house & my things? What else did she take?
We get all of our stuff packed, or at least what we could get in the truck. This meant lots of things where left behind, including several bags of trash. Since she took the only other mode of transportation, I left those things for her to deal with. The trash, the furniture, and anything else. I did clean up as I went, so the house wasn't dirty. I'm sure she said otherwise, but again, no one took time to listen to me, so whatever. I did leave a note telling her we appreciated everything she did for us, and that I hated it had to go down like this. It also let her know I didn't take anything that was hers, such as movies she had loaned us. We locked the door and drove off into the night.
We get back to IN and my sister comes to the house to tell me that "Collette" had blasted the note all over Facebook, and has tagged our entire family in it. ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?!?!?!?!? How old are you "Collette", cause you act like you are still in high school. Get your shit together and grow up! My sister tells me that she, my niece, and my brother in law all asked to be untagged that they didn't want any part in it. Of course there are cousins making comments about what a bitch I am, and uncles saying I told you so. Told them so what? You had nothing to do with me the moment my mom died, so anything you could have "told" them would have been hearsay because I haven't talked to you in almost 20 years. And when I say talk, I mean carry on a conversation, not just a few words here and there in passing! People that were supposed to be my friends, deleted me & said they would pray for me. I don't need prayers, I don't need God, I don't need anything from anyone. I have my kids, my loving husband, my in laws, my sister, brother in law, niece and a shit ton of friends. Random strangers are saying horrible things about me, all because she put a note that I wrote on there and blew it all out of context, just to make me look bad. I check my email, and you will never believe it, they have hacked my personal account, and deleted everything. Emails between my attorney, emails from friends, contacts, the whole thing. Who would do that?
Like I said it's been a year since all this happened. We are way better off now. The Husband is a Certified Cable Technician and makes damn good money. Enough money that I don't have to work if I don't want to! We are in the house buying process, and are putting an offer in on a house tomorrow. My children are so much happier to have their "real" family around. I was able to see my niece, get married, and was one of the first people she called when she found out she was pregnant. So yeah, I am doing great, and we are all happy as can be. We did it all by ourselves, with no help from any of you, or any one else for that matter. If anything you guys taught us to never, ever rely on anyone, especially family, for anything. Family will screw you over just as quick as a friend would. So thanks for helping us realize that!
Sincerely
Scandell
Sunday, January 27, 2013
Be original, its more interesting
There are few things that annoy me. The main annoyance is people trying to play things off as their own, when everyone knows good & well they copied it!
I used to be friends with this chic who always told people she was Buddhist and believed in saving the world.That wasnt the problem I had with her. The problem was that she didn't even know what it meant to be Buddihst, she just knew a few people that claimed they were too, and thought it was cool. How can a person claim to be a religion without knowing what it entailed? You look like a dumbass when you talk about it!!
Then she was all about organic shit. Ok Im all for saving the world, but not at the cost of eat dirt & taking water in a bath that everyone else has already used! She wears organic clothes (whatever those are) and makes her poor kids do it it too.
She breastfed her kid til she was like 3, because she read that it was best thing to do. Again I'm all for breastfeeding, I did it with my kids. But when they could sit up & walk, it was time to stop. I know a lot of people breastfeed for a while & to each their own, but I think its a little much when your child comes up, pulls your boob out & starts drinking!
Now she is trying to sell shit she made from ideas on Pinterest. Ummm I can go on there & make the same shit.. FOR FREE.. There is no way in hell I would pay you to make something I can make.
There are several other things she does, that are clearly not her idea, and I would love to call her out, but it will only cause problems.. and well.. I got 99 problems, but this BITCH ain't one!
Ann Landers once said, Copying is a form of flattery, I can think of a shit ton of others way you can flatter a person. Trying to be like them is not one of them.
Moral of the story.. BE ORIGINAL!
I used to be friends with this chic who always told people she was Buddhist and believed in saving the world.That wasnt the problem I had with her. The problem was that she didn't even know what it meant to be Buddihst, she just knew a few people that claimed they were too, and thought it was cool. How can a person claim to be a religion without knowing what it entailed? You look like a dumbass when you talk about it!!
Then she was all about organic shit. Ok Im all for saving the world, but not at the cost of eat dirt & taking water in a bath that everyone else has already used! She wears organic clothes (whatever those are) and makes her poor kids do it it too.
She breastfed her kid til she was like 3, because she read that it was best thing to do. Again I'm all for breastfeeding, I did it with my kids. But when they could sit up & walk, it was time to stop. I know a lot of people breastfeed for a while & to each their own, but I think its a little much when your child comes up, pulls your boob out & starts drinking!
Now she is trying to sell shit she made from ideas on Pinterest. Ummm I can go on there & make the same shit.. FOR FREE.. There is no way in hell I would pay you to make something I can make.
There are several other things she does, that are clearly not her idea, and I would love to call her out, but it will only cause problems.. and well.. I got 99 problems, but this BITCH ain't one!
Ann Landers once said, Copying is a form of flattery, I can think of a shit ton of others way you can flatter a person. Trying to be like them is not one of them.
Moral of the story.. BE ORIGINAL!
Saturday, January 26, 2013
Life with a Pre-Pubesent Girl
As I'm sure you can tell from my profile I have 3 kids. My oldest daughter is 11 (will be 12 in August), my son is 9, (will be 10 in March) and my youngest daughter is 7 (will be 8 in August).
I don't remember how I was when I was going through puberty, but Holy Drama Queen Batman, my 11 year old is going to drive me completely nutty before its all said & done! She is an emotional roller coaster every day, and you never know what you are going to get when you talk to her. Attitude, tears, or happiness.
It was the night before the last day of school, for Christmas break. She was going to have a party the next day & wanted to wear something nice, so we were in her room trying to pick something out. She has this cute gold dress, but it is sleeveless and she doesn't have a sweater to wear over it. When I told her she couldn't wear it, she threw herself on the bed, flopping all over it, and crying. Oh My God kid, get a grip, its a freaking dress!!! I gave her several other options to wear that were just as cute, but they were not acceptable. Finally I gave up and told her to go naked for all I cared.
The next morning school was canceled due to snow! Ha take that kid!! She wore it around the house & for our family Christmas so she was happy.
Then the other night while I was tucking them in for bed & she got really mouthy! I said something about assuming they had done what they were asked, and she spouted off at the mouth " Yeah well you know what assuming does don't you?" OH HELL NO LITTLE GIRL!! I told her to watch her mouth or next time she will wish she hadn't learned to speak! She blurted back, "you shouldn't have taught us what it means then" Umm I also taught you what the middle finger meant ( she used it when she was younger, so I had to explain to her it was not appropriate) that doesn't give you the right to use it!!
Today she woke up in the best mood! Gave me a hug, said Good Morning, and told me she loved me. Aww, that's my sweet little girl. Why can't she be like this all the time? I'm sure when I get home I will hear all about how her brother & sister pissed her off several times & how she wishes she was an only child. Until then I'm going to relish in the fact that she talked to me today, because that may be a different story tomorrow.
I can't even imagine what it will be like when she actually gets her period, and has PMS. At least I know what I have to look forward to when the youngest starts going through it! Lord help us all when both of them start!! Anyone else deal with this kind of madness from their daughter? Will it get worse before it gets better, or am I just screwed??
I don't remember how I was when I was going through puberty, but Holy Drama Queen Batman, my 11 year old is going to drive me completely nutty before its all said & done! She is an emotional roller coaster every day, and you never know what you are going to get when you talk to her. Attitude, tears, or happiness.
It was the night before the last day of school, for Christmas break. She was going to have a party the next day & wanted to wear something nice, so we were in her room trying to pick something out. She has this cute gold dress, but it is sleeveless and she doesn't have a sweater to wear over it. When I told her she couldn't wear it, she threw herself on the bed, flopping all over it, and crying. Oh My God kid, get a grip, its a freaking dress!!! I gave her several other options to wear that were just as cute, but they were not acceptable. Finally I gave up and told her to go naked for all I cared.
The next morning school was canceled due to snow! Ha take that kid!! She wore it around the house & for our family Christmas so she was happy.
Then the other night while I was tucking them in for bed & she got really mouthy! I said something about assuming they had done what they were asked, and she spouted off at the mouth " Yeah well you know what assuming does don't you?" OH HELL NO LITTLE GIRL!! I told her to watch her mouth or next time she will wish she hadn't learned to speak! She blurted back, "you shouldn't have taught us what it means then" Umm I also taught you what the middle finger meant ( she used it when she was younger, so I had to explain to her it was not appropriate) that doesn't give you the right to use it!!
Today she woke up in the best mood! Gave me a hug, said Good Morning, and told me she loved me. Aww, that's my sweet little girl. Why can't she be like this all the time? I'm sure when I get home I will hear all about how her brother & sister pissed her off several times & how she wishes she was an only child. Until then I'm going to relish in the fact that she talked to me today, because that may be a different story tomorrow.
I can't even imagine what it will be like when she actually gets her period, and has PMS. At least I know what I have to look forward to when the youngest starts going through it! Lord help us all when both of them start!! Anyone else deal with this kind of madness from their daughter? Will it get worse before it gets better, or am I just screwed??
Thursday, January 24, 2013
Head Lice is the Devil!!!
About two years ago, a friend of mine & I were talking about head lice and how I have been lucky to not have to deal with it. A day later she was going to cut my youngest daughter's hair, and she came out to tell me she had head lice. Of course I freaked out!!!
She told me what I needed to do and what kind of stuff I needed to buy. I went to Walmart, bought all the shit they had and went home to start doing everyones hair. My oldest daughter had hair to the middle of her back & it's super thick. I'm talking 1/2 inch pony tail, thick! I followed the directions and got started on her first (since her hair was the longest), and it took me 4 hours. Yes, 4 hours!! By this time she is tired and annoyed from me pulling her hair, and my back looks like I have a wicked case of osteoporosis. I get her hair finished and start on my son. His hair was short, so it was quick & painless. Then it was on to my youngest daughter. All in all it took me about 6 hours. After I was finished, I bagged all their stuffed animals, stripped their beds, vacuumed my entire house, including beds, and made them sleep with shower caps on.
That's when I realized, Oh shit we all use the same brush!! You guessed I had it too. Didn't even realize I had it. So now I'm doing my hair. By now its almost 11:00 at night and I'm exhausted. My husband said "Fuck all that mess I'm shaving my head" Thank God cause I was over it and did not want to do anything else that had to do with head lice.
About a week later, the school nurse called me at work again to tell me my oldest had head lice. I about came unglued! How in the hell am I supposed to get rid of this shit if they aren't telling any other parents and I'm the only one treating it??
This went on every other week for a year. During the summer if I saw them scratch their head I was doing the lice treatment. Their poor little heads were so dry from all the shit I had put on it, that I couldn't tell if it was lice or dry skin. I tried every home remedy there was to find. Coconut oil, vegetable oil, not letting them wash their hair for a week ( apparently they only like clean hair). Finally we got rid of it, and then they started school again.
They weren't in there for more than a month when I got that dreaded call from the school nurse. "Are you fucking kidding me?" What kind of Mickey Mouse operation were they running? I kept thinking, they have got to be getting it from somewhere..
Then we moved to another state, which meant a new school.. YES!! No more lice!!!! WRONG!!!!!! They weren't at school for more than a month when the school nurse at the new school called me to say the kids had lice. By now I'm thinking their is something wrong with my kids.
At this school if a kid is sent home with lice they can't ride the bus the next day, they have to be brought in and checked by the nurse before being released to class. So I take them in, and wouldn't you know the nurse is checking 3 other kids heads. Ok at least I'm not the only parent dealing with this. As I'm waiting I see the nurse pulling out the lice from some girl & throwing it on the floor.. What the fuck is she doing?? Doesn't she know they don't die by being pulled out? They have to be fried or killed with the medicated shampoo.. DUH dumbass!!!!
A year has passed and we have been lice free, until today. My MIL calls to tell me she found one in my oldest daughters hair!! No way!! So back to Walmart I go to buy everything they have!! Luckily we recently cut her hair so it didn't take 4 hours, and I had another person helping me, but we went ahead did every one's hair.
I'm telling you what, if this doesn't kill the little buggers this time I'm shaving everyones heads. We can be known as the skin head family for all I care.. I HATE LICE!!!!!!
She told me what I needed to do and what kind of stuff I needed to buy. I went to Walmart, bought all the shit they had and went home to start doing everyones hair. My oldest daughter had hair to the middle of her back & it's super thick. I'm talking 1/2 inch pony tail, thick! I followed the directions and got started on her first (since her hair was the longest), and it took me 4 hours. Yes, 4 hours!! By this time she is tired and annoyed from me pulling her hair, and my back looks like I have a wicked case of osteoporosis. I get her hair finished and start on my son. His hair was short, so it was quick & painless. Then it was on to my youngest daughter. All in all it took me about 6 hours. After I was finished, I bagged all their stuffed animals, stripped their beds, vacuumed my entire house, including beds, and made them sleep with shower caps on.
That's when I realized, Oh shit we all use the same brush!! You guessed I had it too. Didn't even realize I had it. So now I'm doing my hair. By now its almost 11:00 at night and I'm exhausted. My husband said "Fuck all that mess I'm shaving my head" Thank God cause I was over it and did not want to do anything else that had to do with head lice.
About a week later, the school nurse called me at work again to tell me my oldest had head lice. I about came unglued! How in the hell am I supposed to get rid of this shit if they aren't telling any other parents and I'm the only one treating it??
This went on every other week for a year. During the summer if I saw them scratch their head I was doing the lice treatment. Their poor little heads were so dry from all the shit I had put on it, that I couldn't tell if it was lice or dry skin. I tried every home remedy there was to find. Coconut oil, vegetable oil, not letting them wash their hair for a week ( apparently they only like clean hair). Finally we got rid of it, and then they started school again.
They weren't in there for more than a month when I got that dreaded call from the school nurse. "Are you fucking kidding me?" What kind of Mickey Mouse operation were they running? I kept thinking, they have got to be getting it from somewhere..
Then we moved to another state, which meant a new school.. YES!! No more lice!!!! WRONG!!!!!! They weren't at school for more than a month when the school nurse at the new school called me to say the kids had lice. By now I'm thinking their is something wrong with my kids.
At this school if a kid is sent home with lice they can't ride the bus the next day, they have to be brought in and checked by the nurse before being released to class. So I take them in, and wouldn't you know the nurse is checking 3 other kids heads. Ok at least I'm not the only parent dealing with this. As I'm waiting I see the nurse pulling out the lice from some girl & throwing it on the floor.. What the fuck is she doing?? Doesn't she know they don't die by being pulled out? They have to be fried or killed with the medicated shampoo.. DUH dumbass!!!!
A year has passed and we have been lice free, until today. My MIL calls to tell me she found one in my oldest daughters hair!! No way!! So back to Walmart I go to buy everything they have!! Luckily we recently cut her hair so it didn't take 4 hours, and I had another person helping me, but we went ahead did every one's hair.
I'm telling you what, if this doesn't kill the little buggers this time I'm shaving everyones heads. We can be known as the skin head family for all I care.. I HATE LICE!!!!!!
Wednesday, January 23, 2013
Best Friends, am I the only one who thinks they are overrated?
The words "best friend" are used too loosely these days. When I was a kid I had a best friend. She lived in my neighborhood, rode my bus, and was kinda like a big sister to me. We talked about when we got married how we would be each others maid of honor, and our kids (if we had them) would be ring bearers and flower girls. We had sleep overs, and shared secrets, you know typical best friend stuff. When my mom passed away I had to move 700 miles away and though that would be the end of my best friendship. But we would talk at least once a month & it was like we hadn't missed a day. Whenever I came back, we would hang out the entire time.
When I finally moved back to my home state, I knew we would be inseparable. We were for a while but she graduated a year before me, so she had a lot going on with college. We still talked everyday though so it was ok. When I got engaged, she was one of the first ones I called. We squealed and jumped up & down, just like on the movies. She started planning the bridal shower, and helped me shop for everything. Then I got pregnant (yes before I got married, don't judge), again she was the first one I called. And again we squealed and jumped up & down. Now she was helping me plan for a new baby too. It was awesome, I had the man of my dreams (or so I thought, I of course divorced him later), a perfect baby girl, and a best friend to share all of this with.
She was Maid of Honor just like we had talked about as kids, and I was so excited to have her stand next to me on my special day. When I left my now ex husband she was the first one I called. She let me cry on her shoulder, and assured me I had done the right thing. She was always there for me. So when she called me to tell me she wanted me to meet her new boyfriend I was ecstatic. Yay, Its my turn to do all the things she had already done for me. By now I have been divorced, met a new man, and had another baby. I was happy and she had been a part of all of it, I wanted to return the favor.
We met up at one of the McDonald's PlayPlaces so the kiddies could play & the adults could visit. My new husband was way different than my friends boyfriend, but I thought the meet & greet went well. That was until she called me to tell me was engaged. I started squealing and jumping up & down, until I realized I was the only one doing it. She was silent on the other end of the phone. I said so when does planning start, I cant wait to be your maid of Honor, and my babies be the ring bearer & flower girl. That's when she said, " You, nor your kids are in the wedding" THUD!!! That was the sound my heart made when it fell through my ass! Are you kidding me? What the hell happened to our best friendship? She never did explain to me what happened and I haven't heard from her since, that was back in 2004. I am friends with her sister on Facebook, and in real life. So I know she went through with the wedding and has had 2 babies since then. I have nothing but happy thoughts for her, but I have never taken the words best friend seriously since.
I have had a few friends that came close to that. We were friends, did everything together, told secrets, hung out. What most people would think of as best friend stuff, but, it wasn't the same. Once life got a hold of them I became a thing of the past. They had other friends, best friends, that they have had since childhood. So I wasn't too disappointed that I didn't replace those besties.
Now I want to clarify, all the "best friends" that have broken up with me, did so on their own. I did not in any way contribute to their decision. If I had it would have been to plead my case as to why I'm the best, best friend anyone could have.
Why is it that guys can keep the same best friends through life? My husband has had his best friend since they were 3. This guy was the best man at our wedding & is the godfather to my children. His other best friend is his music partner, and well, lets just say they give Bromancing a face. Its sick, and sad for me. I want that with someone that is my age, and understands the things I go through as a wife and mother..
Until I find that person I will continue to call my mother-in-law and my husband my best friends. I know everyone who is married considers their spouse as their best friend, but how many can say their mother-in-law is as well? That women has been through more with me than most of my blood family, and for that she is my bestie. If I never find "The One" Ill be ok with that because she is the coolest old bitty I know.
BTW I'm taking applications for the best friend spot, you know just in case something happens & she decides she doesn't want to be my best friend anymore. It seems to happen to me a lot, so I would like to have a back up.
Tuesday, January 22, 2013
Sometimes I wish I wasn't a Mom...
On a recent episode of How I Met Your Mother, Lilly ( Allison Hannigan) made a confession to Ted (Josh Radnor) that sometimes she wishes she wasn't a mom.
That she thinks about packing her stuff & disappearing into the night.
That she thinks about packing her stuff & disappearing into the night.
Well Lilly, you are not alone!! I have thought this many times, and although I never do it, the thought is still there. Does this make me a bad mom?
No I don't think so, because I'm sure I'm not the only one.
Being a mom is the hardest job known to man. You work 24/7, 365 days, for no pay. Now I have heard people say you get paid in love, and respect from your children. Yeah well sometimes that shit isn't enough. Not to mention my children can be the most disrespectful little shits I have ever met. But they are my disrespectful little shits and no one can have them.
There have been times I have left the house in tears because of them. I know sometimes a smack on the butt or a quick tap on the mouth is what they need, but I can't bring myself to do it. And in turn they continue to be hateful. They have never treated their dad this way, so why do they do it to me? According to my MIL it's because we are mom & our children know we will love them always no matter what..
There have been times I have left the house in tears because of them. I know sometimes a smack on the butt or a quick tap on the mouth is what they need, but I can't bring myself to do it. And in turn they continue to be hateful. They have never treated their dad this way, so why do they do it to me? According to my MIL it's because we are mom & our children know we will love them always no matter what..
I hear on the news about these parents who have killed their children, and I'm disgusted. I have never, ever wanted to harm my children to the point of death. I have on occasion wished I had the Jedi mind trick, but it never seems to work when I want it to.
How could anyone want to kill their child? There are couples out there who can't have children, and I'm sure they would take those babies home with them, if it meant they would get to live a long fulfilling life. Those parents who kill their children should be fixed and sentenced to life with their guilt!
Now don't get me wrong there are plenty of good times. They even outweigh the bad! Most of the funny things that happen in our family are because the kids did something. They are little comedians and always know how to make me laugh.
When I'm upset over something or not having a good day I know I can count on them to bring me up. It's times like that, that I forget about all the stupid, hateful, disrespectful shit they have done.
Being a mom is job you can't quit, you don't get paid benefits, or vacation. But as you watch them grow up, and go through life, you realize none of that matters. Those kids are always going to be grateful that you are their parents and that you loved them unconditionally.
So Lilly, my friend, it's ok to feel that way. As long as you don't go through with those thoughts you are a normal mom, and it will get easier. I don't know when since my kids are still kind of young, but when I figure it out I'll let you know.
Monday, January 21, 2013
My take on the Chippendales Strippers..
So my (older) sister tells me she has an extra ticket to see The Chippendales Strippers this past Friday night, and asks if I want to go. My niece and some friends from their work are going with them & it will surely be a fun time. Seeing as I have never been to a "male review" I thought "Why the hell not?"
We get there and of course there is a line a mile long. As we wait outside in the 20 degree weather, the bouncer comes out and asks if anyone has VIP tickets. Wait there are VIP tickets?? Why are we just now hearing about this? Where do we get one? Ahhh screw it we will just follow the girls saying they have one, like the bouncer is going to know we aren't with them. Yeah apparently they do know, we were denied!!
We finally get in and they are only letting the VIP people down to the stage. So now we are all huddled together like cattle waiting to see some Magic Mike shit. I 'm checking out the girls that are waiting for the same thing and notice that I am either A) Too old and not dressed slutty enough or B) I'm too young and don't have enough grandchildren to brag about.
My sister decides she wants a drink, so we go to the bar to order. Of course everyone waiting wants a drink too so guess what, we wait in line ..again. While waiting I'm people watching and notice that most of the girls/women are ordering fruity girly drinks. Don't these bitches know the best way to get drunk at the bar without taking out a loan is to drink beer? I can get shitfaced for less than $20 at the bar by drinking beer. Yes some people don't like beer, but after 3 or 4 drinks everything tastes the same so whats the difference? I order my beer, Bud Light, ($3.50) and my sister gets some $7 fruity drink. Yeah I had 2 drinks to her 1! Stupid girl!!
We finally get to go to the stage after all the VIPs get their special treatment, and its standing room only. There are a shit ton of women and with flu season in full swing, I tried not to get too close to anyone. Apparently no one else got the flu memo & I had girls trying to get in my clothes with me. I stood with my arms on my hips most of the time to keep them a way from me. It worked for the most part.
Ok here comes the MC/DJ/Dancer, Constantine .. He has nice body, but as soon as he gets in the light I can see he has a "Butta-Face" Everything is nice, but his face! Then he starts introducing all the other Chippendales. You have Magnum, the man who has been in Playgirl & Easy Rider. He is ok, again nice body, but he really wasn't my type. The Cowboy, the oldest Chippendale; I'm pretty sure he has been doing this for a while. His skin was saggy and leathery looking, and he was considered the veteran. Then there is Tarzan. He kinda looked like a shorter, brunette version of Fabio. Last but not least, The Baby. And oh was he a baby, only 24 years old! Abercrombie & Fitch model with a super cute baby face. All the women screamed for him. He must have mommy issues if he actually enjoys grinding on women old enough to be his mom, shit old enough to be his grandmother! Gross if you ask me!!
They do some choreographed dance number together, then go their separate ways for the individual dances. Each guy picks a girl (VIP) and does a little number with them, & then all the women have their chance for a lap dance with that guy. At $10 a pop, you would think they would pay a little attention to the woman. Ummm no, not the case. He would grind on you for about 10 seconds, and then help you off stage. This went on for about 20 mins each guy. Until The Baby got up there. Almost all the women are up there for this kid ready to get their grind on. Well since there was soo many of them & he didn't have a long time, he had to start giving 2 lap dances at once. Oh hell no, I paid my money, you better make me wish I was single & the only girl up there. Finally Constantine comes back & asks if we have seen Dirty Dancing, while the song "I've had the Time of my Life" is playing. I start busting out laughing, like hysterical laughing. Everyone around me starts looking at me, including my sister & niece. So of course I have to explain myself. Has anyone ever seen the SNL episode with Patrick Swayze & Chris Farley? The one where they are both trying out for Chippendales? Yeah well when he asked if we had seen the movie & that song started playing, that's the first thing that came to mind. And since its one of my favorite skits, I started laughing. My sister & niece thought it was funny, no one else did.. Lame-Os!!
We are all officially over the crowdedness and tired, not to mention I have to be at work at 9 am the next morning, so we leave before its even over. As we are walking out a few of the women look at us like we don't know what we are about to miss.. Actually .. yeah I do.. I'm missing my jammies, warm bed, and a hubby who would give me a lap dance any day, for FREE. My favorite word!!
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